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Jeremy McCarthy
Learning to lead

The most important thing mentees need to learn is the hardest thing to teach – and that’s leadership, says Jeremy McCarthy


One of the most rewarding parts of being older and a bit more established in my career is the opportunity to mentor others. In the past few years, I've taken on a number of mentees, some of whom I’ve coached from afar and others whom I’ve taken under my wing, working closely with them for an extended period.

Mentoring is not easy. It’s one thing to become successful in your own career, but to package and convey a lifetime of learning, experiences and wisdom into some usable nugget that can actually make a meaningful impact on someone’s life and career is its own art form and not one that I’ve mastered.

I often think the most important thing my mentees need to learn is the hardest thing for me to teach: leadership. People who are juniors in their careers today have access to incredible resources that I never had. They can easily learn about the industry by taking courses, reading blogs, watching YouTube videos, etc. They can learn how to read a P&L, how to write an SOP or how to give good customer service. But leadership is one of the most essential skills for a successful career and it’s hard to learn, hard to teach and not easily replaced by technology.

Trial and error
When I think about how I learned leadership, the top answer that comes to mind is trial and error. I made lots of mistakes. They didn’t feel good. I made adjustments. Often, I overcorrected and made more mistakes. And gradually, over time, I established my own leadership style. But I never finished learning how to be a leader. I’m still learning from my mistakes to this day.

Role models
The second way I learned is by working with people I admired. Inspiring leaders were role models, who pushed me to be the best I could and also gave me a template for what being a good leader looks like. I’ve worked with some amazing people and my approach to leadership is shaped by those who went before.

Learning by dislike
The third way I learned is by working with people I didn’t like. The micromanagers, the tyrants and the soulless number crunchers. They were role models too, teaching me what didn’t work and what I didn’t want to become.

The leadership wisdom from these channels is hard-won. They take time and effort and more than a few lumps along the way. Sure, as a mentor I can try to help my mentees bypass some of the pain and duration necessary to learn these skills. I can try to bottle up the lessons I’ve learned into an easily digestible format, but they’ll sound like meaningless platitudes.

It’s not until the mentee tries them out in a real situation that they can see whether it fits them or not. The techniques that work are the ones that come from the heart of the leader. Authenticity is more important than the actions themselves.

So my advice to those who are early in their careers is simple: step up, take control and make decisions. Make decisions and mistakes. You won’t make good decisions at first. Making good decisions requires wisdom. Wisdom comes from experience. And experience comes from making bad decisions. So make bad decisions. Own your mistakes and learn from them. And maybe ... just maybe ... become a leader along the way.

Jeremy McCarthy has worked in the spa industry for 34 years. As group director of spa and wellness for Mandarin Oriental, he oversees spa, wellness and leisure operations at 35 luxury hotels globally. Contact him with your views on Twitter @jeremymcc

Read more from this issue of Spa Business magazine

View contents of Spa Business 2023 issue 2
FEATURED SUPPLIERS

HPO Tech brings design-led hyperbaric systems to the spa floor
Hyperbaric oxygen therapy has moved well beyond the clinic and spa operators represent the fastest-growing market for the technology. [more...]

Zerobody Cryo: Starpool's contrast therapy solution
Contrast therapy, based on the alternation of hot and cold rituals, has become one of the most valued practices in the fields of wellness and recovery. [more...]
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COMPANY PROFILES
International SPA Association

Since 1991, the International SPA Association has been recognised worldwide as the professional orga [more...]
AKT Group

AKT Group is the Franco–Italian parent company of SKYY, C.O.D.E. and AKTMe, operating as an integrat [more...]
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CATALOGUE GALLERY
 

+ More catalogues  

DIRECTORY
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DIARY

 

23-26 Aug 2026

Elevate Spa Riviera Maya Edition

The Riviera Maya Edition Kanai, Playa del Carmen, Mexico
10-12 Sep 2026

ASEAN Patio Pool Spa Expo 2026

MITEC Kuala Lumpur,Malaysia, Malaysia
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Uniting the world of spa & wellness
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News   Products   Magazine   Subscribe
Jeremy McCarthy
Learning to lead

The most important thing mentees need to learn is the hardest thing to teach – and that’s leadership, says Jeremy McCarthy


One of the most rewarding parts of being older and a bit more established in my career is the opportunity to mentor others. In the past few years, I've taken on a number of mentees, some of whom I’ve coached from afar and others whom I’ve taken under my wing, working closely with them for an extended period.

Mentoring is not easy. It’s one thing to become successful in your own career, but to package and convey a lifetime of learning, experiences and wisdom into some usable nugget that can actually make a meaningful impact on someone’s life and career is its own art form and not one that I’ve mastered.

I often think the most important thing my mentees need to learn is the hardest thing for me to teach: leadership. People who are juniors in their careers today have access to incredible resources that I never had. They can easily learn about the industry by taking courses, reading blogs, watching YouTube videos, etc. They can learn how to read a P&L, how to write an SOP or how to give good customer service. But leadership is one of the most essential skills for a successful career and it’s hard to learn, hard to teach and not easily replaced by technology.

Trial and error
When I think about how I learned leadership, the top answer that comes to mind is trial and error. I made lots of mistakes. They didn’t feel good. I made adjustments. Often, I overcorrected and made more mistakes. And gradually, over time, I established my own leadership style. But I never finished learning how to be a leader. I’m still learning from my mistakes to this day.

Role models
The second way I learned is by working with people I admired. Inspiring leaders were role models, who pushed me to be the best I could and also gave me a template for what being a good leader looks like. I’ve worked with some amazing people and my approach to leadership is shaped by those who went before.

Learning by dislike
The third way I learned is by working with people I didn’t like. The micromanagers, the tyrants and the soulless number crunchers. They were role models too, teaching me what didn’t work and what I didn’t want to become.

The leadership wisdom from these channels is hard-won. They take time and effort and more than a few lumps along the way. Sure, as a mentor I can try to help my mentees bypass some of the pain and duration necessary to learn these skills. I can try to bottle up the lessons I’ve learned into an easily digestible format, but they’ll sound like meaningless platitudes.

It’s not until the mentee tries them out in a real situation that they can see whether it fits them or not. The techniques that work are the ones that come from the heart of the leader. Authenticity is more important than the actions themselves.

So my advice to those who are early in their careers is simple: step up, take control and make decisions. Make decisions and mistakes. You won’t make good decisions at first. Making good decisions requires wisdom. Wisdom comes from experience. And experience comes from making bad decisions. So make bad decisions. Own your mistakes and learn from them. And maybe ... just maybe ... become a leader along the way.

Jeremy McCarthy has worked in the spa industry for 34 years. As group director of spa and wellness for Mandarin Oriental, he oversees spa, wellness and leisure operations at 35 luxury hotels globally. Contact him with your views on Twitter @jeremymcc

Read more from this issue of Spa Business magazine

View contents of Spa Business 2023 issue 2
LATEST NEWS
Gran Hotel Taoro opens Sandára Wellness Centre
Gran Hotel Taoro in northern Tenerife, Spain, has completed the final phase of its three-year renovation with the debut of its Sandára Wellness Centre.
Franchise expert Carrie Walsh joins Hand and Stone Massage and Facial Spa as CEO
Hand and Stone Massage and Facial Spa, the spa business with more than 650 locations across the US and Canada, has appointed franchise expert Carrie Walsh as CEO as the company plans to expand.
HCM Invest opens applications for pitching slots
The inaugural HCM Invest event has opened applications for pitching slots ahead of its launch in London on 21 October 2026.
Synergy – The Retreat Show invites consumer and industry perspectives on retreats for research
Synergy – The Retreat Show, the global trade show for retreats, has launched a global research initiative that will provide insights into the retreat sector from both consumer and industry perspectives.
Turkey is crowned the best massage nation at world championship
Turkey came first at this year’s World Championship in Massage between 3-5 July in Copenhagen, Denmark.
The Wellness Tourism Association publishes industry framework for ethical and responsible retreats
The Wellness Tourism Association (WTA) has published a non-regulatory global industry framework designed to ensure the retreat market offers responsible experiences.
One in three spa practitioners have considered leaving the industry due to concerns about their own wellbeing
A new survey of UK and international spa practitioners shows that stress, burnout and wellbeing concerns have caused one in three respondents to consider leaving the industry.
UK updates physical activity guidelines with focus on daily movement
The UK's four Chief Medical Officers have published a refreshed edition of Physical activity guidelines: UK Chief Medical Officers' report, updating the evidence that underpins the nation's physical activity recommendations and placing greater emphasis on strength, balance, reducing sedentary behaviour and, for the first time, supporting people taking weight loss medications.
Sauna advocate Becky Pelkonen drafts global public sauna-bathing charter
Becky Pelkonen, the sauna advocate and researcher, has unveiled the draft of a global public sauna-bathing charter.
Marriott International partners with Fitwel for wellness solutions across its residential portfolio
Marriott International has partnered with Fitwel, a healthy building certification system that aims to optimise occupant health.
Anna Bjurstam steps down from Six Senses to build new company Wahayla
Anna Bjurstam has left her role as Wellness Pioneer at Six Senses Hotels and Resorts and launched a new wellness, longevity and “consciousness consultancy” called Wahayla.
Fairmont Cheshire, The Mere, opens with spa philosophy of ‘Wellness without Walls’
Fairmont Cheshire, The Mere, has opened today (10 July) in the Northwest of England with a 1,715sq m Fairmont Spa that has been designed using a ‘Wellness without Walls’ concept.
+ More news   
 
FEATURED SUPPLIERS

HPO Tech brings design-led hyperbaric systems to the spa floor
Hyperbaric oxygen therapy has moved well beyond the clinic and spa operators represent the fastest-growing market for the technology. [more...]

Zerobody Cryo: Starpool's contrast therapy solution
Contrast therapy, based on the alternation of hot and cold rituals, has become one of the most valued practices in the fields of wellness and recovery. [more...]
+ More featured suppliers  
COMPANY PROFILES
International SPA Association

Since 1991, the International SPA Association has been recognised worldwide as the professional orga [more...]
+ More profiles  
CATALOGUE GALLERY
+ More catalogues  

DIRECTORY
+ More directory  
DIARY

 

23-26 Aug 2026

Elevate Spa Riviera Maya Edition

The Riviera Maya Edition Kanai, Playa del Carmen, Mexico
10-12 Sep 2026

ASEAN Patio Pool Spa Expo 2026

MITEC Kuala Lumpur,Malaysia, Malaysia
+ More diary  
 


ADVERTISE . CONTACT US

Leisure Media
Tel: +44 (0)1462 431385

©Cybertrek 2026

ABOUT LEISURE MEDIA
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